Do as I say or the hat gets it!
by leggo lover 99
Summary: if one annoying girl takes your pride and joy, then holds a flame to it- you have no choice to obey, or do you? WARNING: contains cruelty to hats and doors and even a bit of blackmail! read and review people- read and review! a piece of pure random from me!


There was a knock at the door,

"If you're Valkyrie, you are fully welcome to come in. But if you're not- you'll be either walking away in confusion, wondering who the hell is Valkyrie or you're about to burst through the door shouting as you're so offended that I would even say such a thing. To be honest- I would personally prefer the first option as it's a lot less trouble and if you kick open my door, it will be deeply upset as you would have hurt it's feelings."

Outside Skulduggery's house, it was no surprise what Valkyrie did next.

BANG, went the door as it was kicked open.

"Hi Skulduggery!" Called a cheery Val, "I'm here!"

Skulduggery stepped out of the room which was now Valkyrie's.

"I can't believe you did that," He whispered in a serious tone, "I really, deeply feel hurt now."

Valkyrie looked at the skeleton in bewilderment, "What did I do?"

Skulduggery ignored her question and carried on, "You fully went against what I said- an action so bad, it has cost you a very dear friendship and me some money."

"What are you waffling on about?" ordered a confused and angry feeling Valkyrie. Skulduggery sounded so disappointed, that she was starting to feel guilty.

"The door," Skulduggery whispered dramatically, "You KICKED open the door."

Valkyrie couldn't believe her ears. She stared deep into Skulduggery's dark eye sockets and tried to hold her gaze, but she suddenly burst out laughing instead.

"What?" Skulduggery asked, his voice sounded more cheery now, "It's not funny! That door is a special door and it demands it should be treated with respect."

Val just kept laughing, her eyes watering like mad now.

A thought struck her- most girls her age would be spending their weekends with friends and family- doing shopping, walking or just sitting at home. Valkyrie didn't suspect anyone else spent their days comparing their egos with a living skeleton.

Valkyrie's ego just grew another bar. She was amazing! NO- ONE could be more epic then her!

After about 5 minutes, Valkyrie finally shut up, "Oh My God! I don't think that I've ever laughed for so long." She then glared at the skeleton, "What I was going to say before I was so rudely interrupted was that it's my birthday in a weeks' time."

"And,"

"And, I came here to discuss my present."

"Do I need to get you something?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"As you're my partner!" Valkyrie whined.

"That isn't a real answer."

"Yes it is"

"No it isn't"

"Yes it is!"

"No it isn't"

"Yes it is!"

"Are you training for a pantomime?"

Val screamed in frustration.

"You are so annoying!"

"Thank you!"

"Why aren't you getting me anything?"

"As I have no money!"

"Yes you do, you brought stuff for my room- I saw you get the change!"

"No you didn't, I brought it online."

"Damn." cursed Valkyrie.

"HA! You believed me," Skulduggery teased, "I don't even have a computer!"

Valkyrie growled.

"You,"

"Language Val, very nice people could be listening." Skulduggery cut in.

"Sorry nice people," Valkyrie said to the TV.

"Much better, now, where were we?"

"Here." And with that, Valkyrie grabbed Skulduggery's hat of the coffee table and clicked her fingers. A flame grew in her hand and Val put her hand just to the side of Skulduggery's hat.

"Careful, you could burn my hat." Skulduggery moaned.

"That, my dear friend, is the point."

Skulduggery just glared.

"Careful Skully, do as I want or the hat gets it."

"OK, you got me. What do you want?"

"Glad you asked. My reflection has to go to the school prom in a month. I need to look amazing. Black dress. Not too sparkly, not to plain. I'll leave the rest to you."

"Is that all?" he asked sarcastically.

"No. Not really. I also want my own weapon."

"I got you a stick,"

"I don't want a _stick! _I want some ninja throwing stars!"

"Can I have my hat back now?"

"Will you do as I ask?"

"YES! Just give me my hat!"

"Deal."

Valkyrie put out her flame and threw the hat back.

"Sorry Val. I was lying."

"Shame. So was I!"

At that very moment Val pressed speed dial 5 on her phone, then Fletcher appeared next to Skulduggery, grabbed his hat and appeared next to Val.

"Thanks Flech!" Valkyrie grinned, lit up a flame and held it under Skulduggery's hat.

"So?"

Skulduggery growled, "You cheeky little,"

"Skulduggery, remember nice people could be listening!"

"Sorry nice people." Skulduggery muttered to the TV.

"Much better."

"So, what do you want again?"

"That's better Skully, Much better."

Valkyrie smiled, as soon as she got what she needed, she would burn the hat. She always wanted to know what burning hats smelt like.

* * *

TA DA! THAT'S IT. SORRY IF IT ISN'T VERY GOOD. IT'S MY FIRST HUMOR...

REVEIW? PLEASE? I WILL THANK YOU IN MY HEAD AND IF YOU SAY SOMETHING EXTRA HELPFUL- YOU MAY EVEN GET A PM!

LEGGO LOVER 99.


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